I Watched Every Super Bowl Halftime Show.
I love the Super Bowl.
I shouldn’t. I don’t know the sport of football intimately. I don’t really have a favorite team. But I actually think this plays in my favor. Imagine your ride-or-die squad playing in the Super Bowl? How would you ever be able to relax? I wouldn’t be able to settle my nerves until the game was over, and by then, you would have completely missed all the dumb, wonderful stuff that makes up a Super Bowl broadcast.
The reasons I love it are numerous: for one, it’s one of the last things (perhaps the sole remaining) that we as a country experience together. People have been tuning out of the Oscars, we barely vote, and nightly television has become ever splintered. But seemingly everyone checks out the Super Bowl in some capacity or another, even if they can’t stand it.
This brings me to the second reason I love the day: the broadcast has largely grown to accommodate all these different crowds. The football game itself is usually high-level, so fans of the sport are set. For the stoners and less discriminating, there are the endless assault of star-studded commercials that are never, and really have never, been funny even by accident. And for the non-football crowd, there’s that little concert that occurs halfway through.
Ah, yes, the halftime show. The oft parodied, sometimes maligned, but always discussed halftime show. For most of our waking lifetimes, this has been the spot where a musical artist puts on a show, sometimes with a bevy of special guests and sometimes not, and with frequent success! If nothing else, it allows for generations to discuss what type of music and performance is legitimate and interesting and which ones are not. Isn’t talking to people fun?
However, the halftime show was not always this way. The concert vibe is actually a fairly recent development that wasn’t really committed to until the 21st century. For the first three decades of the Super Bowl’s existence, there was a throw-shit-against-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks quality to its halftime entertainment. For years, it was just local college marching bands. The 80’s gave us floats and Up With People. Disney even tried their hand at producing some halftime synergy. Some were fun, while many, many, many were campy, memorable disasters.
So…I thought it’d be fun to work our way through them and see how the show evolved. What will we learn? Probably nothing, outside of the value and scarcity of one’s time. But hopefully it’ll be interesting anyway. Let’s find out!
(Please note that there are a handful that are essentially lost media, and they will be marked in red as applicable.)
Super Bowl I - January 15, 1967 (Kansas City Chiefs vs. Green Bay Packers)
University of Arizona Symphonic Marching Band (feat. Grambling State University Marching Band, Al Hirt, Anaheim High School Ana-Hi-Steppers Drill Team and Flag Girls)
Performed at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles CA
As you might expect, the very first Super Bowl halftime show is fairly nondescript and, frankly, unrecognizable from the major star-studded productions we’re used to today. As you also might expect, it would be best to gett used to this, as this is par for the course for quite some time.
In terms of production, it’s totally fine! The broadcast is clearly still working out its kinks; the camera is top-down the whole time. This makes sense considering a marching band’s big gimmick is the formation of shapes, but the camera is too far away, it’s not super dynamic (it’s basically just a static shot the entire time)...it's just not that fun of a watch.
Arizona’s marching band, though…fun show! It’s about what you’d expect; the music sticks to the classics; “The Sound of Music”, “The William Tell Overture”, and the like. It took me a while to get used to the formations, but once I adjusted to what they were supposed to be, I found them quite impressive! My two favorites were the Dixieland steam boat, and the two football players facing each other on opposite sides of the field. It’s entertainment at its most simple (“ooh, shapes!”), but it’s at least well-executed.
I must say, though, the most memorable moment of the first halftime show was a depiction of an Old-West shootout, complete with actors shooting guns at each other like so many Wild Bill Hicocks. Even better, a couple of band members jump in to break it up and become collateral damage. Yes, a gun battle on the world’s biggest football stage, with innocent bystanders taken out. Why they decided to do this is unclear; yet it guarantees the first Super Bowl halftime show will remain forever singular.
Super Bowl II - January 14, 1968 (Green Bay Packers vs. Oakland Raiders)
Grambling State University Marching Band
Performed at Miami Orange Bowl, Miami FL
At the moment, this one appears to be lost media. There’s not a ton of Super Bowl lost media, as most of the broadcasts exist in some form or another. Alas, this one appears to be mostly gone; there’s allegedly not even a full copy in NFL Film’s possession. If it’s any consolation, Halftime Show #2 doesn’t sound like it was the best watch; the broadcast was beset with technical difficulties and 80% of the country lost the video feed from the second half of the second quarter to three minutes into halftime.
Grambling did well as a supporting guest for Super Bowl I; I have to imagine they did just as well as the main headliner. Alas, who knows?
Super Bowl III - January 12, 1969 (New York Jets vs. Baltimore Colts)
America Thanks (Florida A&M University Band)
Performed at Miami Orange Bowl, Miami FL
Now we’re talking! Loses momentum in the second half as it devolves into more line formations, cool though they may be (an eagle flapping its wings is a special standout). But it’s the presence of some big goofy costumes and a giant, possibly inflatable, horn o’plenty that implies a goofier (and more fun) future for this slot moving forward.
What I ultimately found charming about this, despite myself, is the sincerity in which it approaches its patriotism. As a show, it doesn’t seem like it’s trying to score with anybody or prove a point. It just wants to pay tribute to America! For better or worse, it seemed like something most people just did, even at the end of a turbulent and culturally revolutionary decade like the sixties. Compare this to the way patriotism in sports has been weaponized in various ways and directions in the near-sixty years since, and the third halftime show is downright adorable.
Super Bowl IV - January 11, 1970 (Minnesota Vikings vs. Kansas City Chiefs)
Tribute to Mardi Gras (Southern University Marching Band, Marguerite Piazza, Doc Severinsen, Lairen & Tara, Al Hirt, Lionel Hampton, Carol Channing)
Performed at Tulane Stadium, New Orleans LA
The copy I had available wasn’t the best; it’s a slightly grainy black and white and the sound isn’t as crisp as one would hope. But this is otherwise dripping with early 70’s goodness. There’s even some creepy puppets and floats by the end! Carol Channing holds the distinction of the first solo artists to appear to sing a song for a Super Bowl halftime show, although she didn’t feel like she was doing full-on “Carol Channing” shtick, so it doesn’t stick out as much as you would think.
Overall, this one is pretty fun: New Orleans jazz is a good style for these early iterations of the halftime shows to build around. You just keep waiting for the broadcast quality to catch up to the growing ambitions of these productions.
Super Bowl V - January 17, 1971 (Baltimore Colts vs. Dallas Cowboys)
Southeast Missouri State Marching Band (Anita Bryant, Up With People)
Performed at Miami Orange Bowl, Miami FL
Pretty easily the best of the first initial five. Southeast Missouri State’s Marching Band was actually fairly dazzling (not a term I thought I’d use in regards to a 70’s marching band routine, but here we are), with the most ambitious formation routines to date; loved the back and forth formations to create the words “Super Bowl”. Anita Bryant, a singer I knew more for her, uh, social stances than I ever did as a performer, was sort of a mixed bag for me. She has an intriguing low register in her voice, but I found the arrangement of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” to be too maudlin to be engaging for as long as it went on.
The real highlight, though, are the floats meant to represent the various regions the newly-merged NFL teams hail from. They’re all fairly garish and not exactly great combo jobs; all of the California squads are represented by a little number with a giant Academy Award and a man with a camera.
Then, of course, there’s Up With People, a group you’ll be hearing a lot about before the end of this article. Their specific brand of dorky earnestness still comes off as practically counter-culture when compared to something like America Thanks, but it’s hard to make something like “Someone Smiled At Me” and “Let All of the People In” sound like anything more than, presumably, “Age of Aquarius” B-sides.
Super Bowl VI - January 16, 1972 (Dallas Cowboys vs. Miami Dolphins)
Salute to Louis Armstrong (Ella Fitzgerald, Carol Channing, Al Hirt, USAFA Cadet Chorale, U.S. Marine Corps Drill Team)
Performed at Tulane Stadium, New Orleans LA
This halftime show also appears lost to time; a full game video exists, but with none of the pregame or halftime stuff thrown in. There’s an eight minute sort-of-home-video that shows the Tyler Junior College Apache Belles and Band arriving to New Orleans, rehearsing and performing at the Supber Bowl. It includes taped-off-the TV footage of the halftime show with stock music playing over it, so one can almost kinda get an idea of what the show would have been like. I should mention that the stock music is going for “sweet, hazy nostalgic memory” over “Louis Armstrong trumpet”, so it’s in conflict with the show footage.
Otherwise, though, I think this one isn’t eligible for fair evaluation. It’s a shame, too: a glance at the topic (Louis had recently passed away) and the guest list makes it sound pretty fun. The minimal footage we do have is fun. The video is at least an interesting watch for its look into a meaningful moment for a group of young kids. Other than that….
Super Bowl VII - January 14, 1973 (Miami Dolphins vs. Washington Redskins)
Happiness Is… (University of Michigan Marching Band, Woody Herman, Andy Williams)
Performed at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles, CA
This one is unfortunately a little underwhelming. Woody Herman rocks a mean clarinet, but the band feels a little uninspired. The “NFL” formation has been done, and better. I kind of like the different helmet carts being driven around the field, I suppose. Also, the theme of “Happiness is” is pure early 70’s poppycock, and is way looser of a theme than you might expect. “Happiness is a fiesta and the bullfights!” “Happiness is rooting for your favorite team!” “Happiness is discovering America from coast to coast!” Eh. It’s just all the same stuff these acts have been doing for years already. It all ends with Andy Williams singing “Marmalade, Molasses and Honey” followed by “People”. Pass.
I do think it’s interesting that the only thing the halftime shows of this era are trying to promote is the idea of the NFL and its various teams as a result of the still-recent merger. The only ones trying to get exposure here is the league itself.
Super Bowl VIII - January 13, 1974 (Minnesota Vikings vs. Miami Dolphins)
A Musical America (University of Texas Longhorn Band, w/Miss Texas 1973 Judy Mallett on fiddle)
Performed At Rice Stadium, Houston TX
Unfortunately, this one also appears to be missing forever. There really doesn’t appear to be an upload of it anywhere. Oh, there’s a YouTube video that claims to be of the 1974 halftime show, but it really just looks like a promotional or home video of a Longhorn performance. The most obvious thing that proves this isn’t the Super Bowl is that Judy Mallett never shows up on the advertised fiddle. Although the first clue that this was a fraud was the announcement you hear near the beginning of the vid that tonight was ”Mom’s Night”. Nothing wrong with a night for the moms, but even a dummy like me suspect this is the kind of promotion the Super Bowl wouldn’t have needed to utilize, even in these early years. Although I do think this year’s Super Bowl should also be Bobblehead Night.
Super Bowl IX - January 12, 1975 (Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Minnesota Vikings)
Tribute to Duke Ellington (Mercer Ellington and Grambling State University Marching Bands)
Performed at Tulane Stadium, New Orleans LA
Juuuust enough footage is available (about seven minutes, or a little over half) to evaluate. It’s perfectly fine, but it does feel like well-worn territory at this point. I do find the folks in the comments of this particular YouTube video to be genuinely charming, with everyone expressing a collective desire for halftime shows to go back to the days when it used to be about the drilling, not just the dancing. I genuinely love when people express a passion for things I have no frame of reference for. However, this does explain why this leaves me a little cold: it’s just great drilling, and not much more.
Super Bowl X - January 18, 1976 (Dallas Cowboys vs. Pittsburgh Steelers)
200 Years and Just a Baby: A Tribute to America's Bicentennial (Up With People)
Performed at Miami Orange Bowl, Miami FL
Up With People!
The tenth halftime show is notable for being the first one to have a non-marching band as their headliner, although Up With People has enough love of lining themselves into formations to last three Super Bowl performances.
Look, it’s difficult to call this “good” by any objective measure. I find myself both utterly captivated, but palpably horrified, by Up With People. Their obsession with that dorky “clean” white 70’s sound, their relentless positivity cranked up so high it borders on sarcasm, the pastels….they’re so actively annoying that you actually have to give it up to them.
More than anything, this performance seems to mark a turning point. It doesn’t have to just be marching bands, even if the material is still about the same that a marching band would do. The shapes on the field, the “America!” theme, the great American songbook…it’s not exactly a departure from the current norm. Oh, and the bicentennial theme is fascinating, if only because, again, it’s done with complete sincerity. It’s not trying to go for “America uber alles” or “take that liebirals!” It’s a celebration of how far the country had come and, admittedly, how far it had to go. Oh, and it was a message delivered by Up With People. In a year that included SNL and Taxi Driver, nothing apparently said the Spirit of 1976 more than Up With People.
Super Bowl XI - January 9, 1977 (Oakland Raiders vs. Minnesota Vikings)
It’s a Small World (Los Angeles Unified All-City Band w/the New Mouseketeers & Audience card stunt)
Performed at the Rose Bowl, Pasadena CA
Used as the hard launch for the New Mouseketeers a week before the premiere of the New Mickey Mouse Club, this really feels the most like an ad so far. For the most part, it’s low on spectacle and high on good vibes. The theme is “It’s a Small World”, so there’s a segment with dancers in different cultural attire, and everyone gathers around a small globe. Its lessons on global intersectionality is mostly limited to waving around giant cloths of different colors.
I’ll give points to its one big trick in the finale: getting the entire sold out stadium involved in a giant color card flip, extending out the spectacle into the stands. In a world where Disney can’t seem to bring together anything or anybody, they managed to unite the entire Rose Bowl in an impressive illusion. Nice job, Mickey!
Look, I have a soft spot for the uncool during an event that is now all about the desperate need to be cool, but….I have my limits. Too much fake high energy arm dancing, too much fakey bright singing….I actually all of this to be more aggravating than Up With People, but that might just be because that group has been body slammed by just about everybody for the entirety of my life. Precious Disney was just as bad in the 1970’s.
However, if nothing else, it’s a first for the Super Bowl; it’s the first halftime show to be produced by The Walt Disney Company. This one looks tame compared to others to come.
Super Bowl XII - January 15, 1978 (Dallas Cowboys vs. Denver Broncos)
From Paris to Paris of America (Tyler Apache Belles Drill Team, The Apache Band, Pete Fountain, Al Hirt)
Performed at the Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans LA
This one also appears to be missing, although there is another fake upload titled Super Bowl XII Halftime Show that just ends up being some strange Orange Bowl halftime show featuring the Electrical Light Parade.
From the description, it feels like it might be well-trodden territory by this point. Al Hirt makes a return to the Superdome. Based off of other halftime videos, the Apache Belles Drill Team appear to be a kickline/flag-waving act. And look, they’re great! But it feels like we’re reaching a point where light spectacle is all the halftime shows are going for at this point.
Super Bowl XIII - January 21, 1979 (Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Dallas Cowboys)
Salute to Caribbean (Ken Hamilton, feat. various Caribbean bands, including Gramacks out of Dominica)
Performed at the Miami Orange Bowl, Miami FL
I actually really liked this one. It’s exactly what it purports to be, a salute to the Caribbean. I especially liked the simple-seeming stage design, with the field turning into the Caribbean sea, and dancers getting their moment on their affiliated islands. I also got a kick out of the Miami crowd going apeshit for Ken Hamilton, a singer I had no previous awareness of and could find limited information on. This show is a good time!
If I had a knock against it, it’s that the whole production has such a late-70’s Disney sheen to it that I had to make sure they didn’t produce it (it won’t surprise you that it was produced by Carnival Cruise Lines). It feels like the Disneyland version of multiculturalism; shiny production values and immensely fun, but a palpable sense of soullessness. However, it easily clears the fucking Mouseketeers for me.
Super Bowl XIV - January 20, 1980 (Los Angeles Rams vs. Pittsburgh Steelers)
A Salute to the Big Band Era (Up With People w/Grambling State University Marching Bands)
Performed at the Rose Bowl, Pasadena CA
I’m not sure why, but this one broke me. Maybe it’s because the calendar has officially turned from the 70’s to the 80’s, maybe it’s because Up With People is now the main attraction rather than one simple flavor in the stew that was the 1976 halftime show. Whatever the reason, the cheese that I originally found goofily charming has now become acidic. Standards from the Great American Songbook being sung with bright sincerity while everyone is either stepping left and right or swinging their arms around…it all reminded me of the corny Broadway revue-style shows I kept doing in college (that my beautiful and very supportive friends kept coming to and pretending to like(. The good news is that there can’t possibly be that many UWP numbers still to come….(looks at the list)....FUCK.
Super Bowl XV - January 25, 1981 (Oakland Raiders vs. Philadelphia Eagles)
Mardi Gras Festival (Southern University Marching Band w/Helen O’Connell)
Performed at the Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans CA
This one also appears missing. From what I can gather, it’s nothing we hadn’t seen before. It would have been cool to see Helen O’Connell in this setting (and would have been a nice break from Up With People), but alas.
Super Bowl XVI - January 24, 1982 (San Francisco 49ers vs Cincinnati Bengals)
Salute to the 1960’s and Motown (Up With People)
Performed at the Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac MI
All I’m going to say about this one is that, in a show called “Salute to the 1960’s and Motown”, these motherfuckers Up With People slipped in the Monster Mash. Classic Motown!
Super Bowl XVII - January 30th, 1983 (Miami Dolphins vs. Washington Redskins)
KaleidoSUPERscope (Los Angeles Super Drill Team)
Performed at the Rose Bowl, Pasadena CA
I’m sorry to say, KaleidoSUPERscope is kind of a dud. The drill team is talented, but the amount of skills on display aren’t really up to par entertainment-wise; it feels like a higher-scale version of the kind of thing a parent would have to sit through at a school function. The audience card tricks are impressive, but it’s something we’ve already seen in years past. It’s also undercut by the broadcast showing us the instructions being displayed on the Jumbotron; so much for magicians never revealing their secrets. Otherwise, it’s just a lot of banner-waving and line formations. Oh, and a lot of Electrical Light Parade-esque renditions of standards from the 60s and 70’s. It does end on a grand finale of a very sincere message of peace and love to the world for the new year, which appears to just kinda be the same thing the show was, but with balloons and fireworks being released. Yawn.
The most exciting thing that happens occurs early on, when the camera accidentally switches to the people in the control room for about thirty seconds. They seem like they’re having a good time.
Super Bowl XVIII - January 22, 1984 (Washington Redskins vs. Los Angeles Raiders)
Salute to Superstars of Silver Screen (University of Florida and Florida State University Marching Bands)
Performed at Tampa Stadium, Tampa FL
The Mouse returns! It’s a movie musical tribute! With two marching bands! Tinkerbell kicks us off! Welcome to the 80’s!
I confess to kinda digging this. There’s at least a general commitment to getting the eras they’re homaging correct (the 42nd Street Busby Berkeley choreography was pretty much dead on). And I think having Donald Duck and Goofy running around and participating in the action undercut the fact that every single performer on the field is a huge dork that deserves a wedgie. All it was really missing were some celebrity cameos (Carmen Miranda Minnie doesn’t count). Finally, I dunno if the audience was mic’d up, but it sure sounded like people were going apeshit for this. It gets declared the “best halftime show they’ve ever had”. I dunno about that, but it’s definitely the MOST halftime show we’ve ever had up to this point.
It’s not good at all, but it’s the good kind of not good. I can be a weird sell sometimes.
Super Bowl XIX - January 20, 1985 (Miami Dolphins vs. San Francisco 49ers)
World of Children’s Dreams (Tops in Blue)
Performed at Stanford Stadium, Stanford CA
The theme is about as corny as it gets, although I suppose after nineteen of these or so, it should become clear that the halftime show at this point was clearly meant to be entertainment for kids. I guess it works, although the theme is also applied broadly; a segment about the moon landing lines up with the kinds of things kids dream about becoming one day (and it gets us a rad jetpack stunt, easily the best thing in the whole show). The segment on America, maybe not so much (“the land of dreams”, I guess? It’s a stretch). I also laughed at how hard they worked to fit in the Olympics. We were still taking a victory lap after the 1984 Olympics, it seems.
I dunno, it’s more 80’s personality-free cheese. This segment is in danger of dying, or at least becoming less than relevant. And to be fair, we’re far away from the time when the show was being advertised as heavily as the game itself, so it is a bit of an afterthought. But, goddamn, couldn’t it at least be somewhat cool? Just a little?
Cool jetpack, though.
(Also, another funny behind the scenes audio glitch at the end, this one with just a slightly bitchy tone.)
Super Bowl XX - January 26, 1986 (Chicago Bears vs. New England Patriots)
Beat of the Future (Up With People)
Performed at Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans LA
“We are proud to dedicate the halftime spectacular today to the memory of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. This show is produced by Up With People…”
So opens the twentieth Super Bowl Halftime Show, as we see rehearsal footage from UWP rehearsing their dorky dance moves in places as diverse as Hawaii’s Diamond Head and the Great Wall of China (I’m sure they were thrilled). From there, we get their patented well-meaning theater kid energy in droves. At one point, they all assume the formation of a set of moving footprints, which is a visual more upsetting that I think was intended. One guy sings “The Power of Love” wearing a loose-fitting neon green tie.
It feels like, at this point in the eighties, we’ve gone officially off the rails. The production values are bordering on self-parody; I didn’t really think the decade ever had the neon cocaine aesthetic it’s often portrayed as having, but after three Up With People joints, I’m forced to believe most homages don’t go far enough. While this was clearly not prime real estate for the NFL, I feel the broadcast reaching a point of crisis that’s being masked by some particularly strong football dynasties (this was the era of the Niners and the Bears). Seven years away from Michael Jackson.
“And a fitting tribute to the memory of Martin Luther King Jr.”. So the halftime show ends.
Super Bowl XXI - January 25th, 1987 (Denver Broncos vs. New York Giants)
Salute to Hollywood’s 100th Anniversary - The World of Make Believe (George Burns, Mickey Rooney, Grambling State University and USC Marching Bands w/various Disney characters and So-Cal high school drill teams and teachers)
Performed at the Rose Bowl, Pasadena CA
This contains an omnipotent shot of an inflatable Mickey Mouse hovering ominously over the Hollywood sign.
Again, it’s insane in the way only 80’s Disney can be, but it’s an entertaining lunacy. It opens with a pre-tape of George Burns doing a couple of creaky jokes in his sleep. About two minutes in, Mickey Rooney starts going nuts dancing in a marching outfit. People in horse costumes start dancing on hind legs. Everything appears to have sequins, including Goofy’s cowboy getup.
Look, the Disney ones crack me up, while Up With People make me throw up. It’s a pretty easy choice to make. I will say this one is maybe just a bit too busy compared to the 1984 offering. There’s too much to take in, so it all kind of washes over you. Still….I mean, Mickey Rooney is really having a good time leading a marching band.
Super Bowl XXII - January 31, 1988 (Washington Redskins vs. Denver Broncos)
Something Grand (Chubby Checker, The Rockettes, 88 grand piano players, San Diego State University Marching Aztecs, California State University Northridge Marching Band and USC Marching Band)
Performed at Jack Murphy Stadium, San Diego CA
Still 80’s cornball, but with a touch of class. Who doesn’t love the Rockettes, even if their presence gives this the feel of a Thanksgiving Day Parade, rather than a Super Bowl halftime show? The 88 grand pianos on the field is admittedly a great stunt, and the whole show feels of a piece, which puts it head and shoulders above most of the rest in the decade’s pool. I also find it hilarious that Chubby Checker went ahead and did “Let’s Twist Again”, the sequel to “The Twist'' with the exact same rhythm and melody.
You still can’t help but feel like there’s something missing from the average production, almost like the powers that be are no longer sure what the halftime show is supposed to be. The search for an identity continues. Still, at least this one was non-irritating.
Super Bowl XXIII - January 22, 1989 (Cincinnati Bengals vs. San Francisco 49ers)
Be Bop Bamboozled in 3-D (Elvis Presto, South Florida-area dancers and performers)
Performed at Joe Robbie Stadium, Miami Gardens FL
Oh, my goodness.
What is there to say about a halftime show whose main get is an Elvis impersonator that doesn’t appear to know a lot of Elvis songs? The setlist, in order: “Rock This Town”, “Tutti Frutti”, “Do You Love Me”, “Devil With a Blue Dress On”, “Great Balls of Fire”, “Greased Lightnin’” and “True Love”, a set whose unifying feature is being non-Elvis songs.
I also loved the completely out of context card trick that Elvis Presto plays with the audience. Whether it’s a trick for the in-stadium audience or the at-home audience is not precisely clear, nor is it clear if the trick even works. He just kind of sings a few different suits, people cheer and the show moves on. There also might be a 3-D element, as teased by the Bob Costas-narrated opening? I suppose, since we all exist in the third dimension, this one might be skating by on a technicality.
Absolutely one of the oddest halftime shows in the history of the Super Bowl. Of course, I loved it.
Super Bowl XXIV - January 28, 1990 (San Francisco 49ers vs. Denver Broncos)
Salute to New Orleans & 40th Anniversary of Peanuts (Pete Fountain, Doug Kershaw, Irma Thomas, Nicholls State University Marching Band, Southern University Marching Band, USL Marching Band)
Performed at Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans LA
An odd one with a somewhat arbitrary premise mashed together with a well-worn one: it’s the 40th Anniversary of the Peanuts comic strip, AND it’s another tribute to New Orleans (something they apparently did every time the Super Bowl was played at the Superdome). Thus, we get a lot of horrifying-looking Charlie Brown characters riding riverboats and stuff. It’s not all that interesting; the Peanuts angle could have had some juice if they had committed to it at all. The New Orleans stuff has been done multiple times before in this space. The only real highlight is a well-done River Queen formation illusion. All in all, a missed opportunity. I’m not kidding when I say the character costumes are nightmare-inducing, though. Maybe that’s the highlight.
Super Bowl XXV - January 27, 1991 (Buffalo Bills vs. New York Giants)
Small World; Tribute to 25 Years of the Super Bowl (New Kids on the Block; Disney characters, Warren Moon, 2,000 local children)
Performed at Tampa Stadium, Tampa FL
What is there to say about maybe the most infamous pre-MJ halftime show of all time? What is there to love about it? What is there to hate about it? Let me count the ways:
The fact that the halftime show, for the most part, is performed by two-thousand children, one of the crazier ideas in Super Bowl halftime history
Despite its theme ostensibly being about both Small World and the first 25 years of Super Bowl history, it’s mostly about honoring the troops fighting for us in the Gulf War
Chip and Dale at one point do the MC Hammer Dance
A little blond kid with a bowl cut sings “Wind Beneath My Wings”, which is, again, revealed to be about the troops
George and Barabara Bush make a video cameo about halfway through, also honoring the troops
The video of their cameo cuts out a little early, but their audio continues on as the camera pans and cuts through many of the two thousand children. Even when you think they’re done, they’re not. The Bushes ramble on long enough for the video to eventually come back.
A Giant Mickey comes out in an Uncle Sam get-up just in time for the “It’s a Small World” tribute.
As mentioned above, this is all build-up to the real, real headliners, which turns out to not be the troops. It’s New Kids on the Block! This is actually kind of an important moment, as this is one of the first times a halftime show was built around a big music act “get”. It’s still to be streamlined and figured out, and it’s way cooler to say Michael Jackson was the first. But, he wasn’t. It was them New Kids.
A horrifying, crazy debacle. Everything that rocks/sucks about the Super Bowl halftime show all rolled into one 14-minute extravaganza. What’s not to love?
Super Bowl XXVI - January 26, 1992 (Washington Redskins vs. Buffalo Bills)
Winter Magic, A Salute to the 1992 Winter Olympics (Gloria Estefan, Brian Boitano and Dorothy Hamill, the 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team, University of Minnesota Marching Band)
Performed at Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, Minneapolis MN
The presumed nail in the coffin for the brown age of the Super Bowl halftime show, the one that got market-corrected by a special episode of IN LIVING COLOR, the one that made the powers-that-be realize that these aren’t cool anymore, if they ever were.
In isolation, Winter Magic is lame in the way all the Up With People/Disney ones are lame; too bright, insincere sincerity, too old-fashioned. It doesn’t help that its theme is vaguely out of season. Yes, it’s to celebrate the upcoming Winter Olympics, and yes, the music they use is generally winter-themed, but….it’s hard not to feel like it’s a Christmas show being performed at the end of January. It’s hard not to hear “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” and “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” and not feel like you’re supposed to be carefully hanging stockings by chimneys.
Gloria Estefan is okay, but feels like something extra they threw on. Boitano and Dorothy ice-skate to the insipid “One Moment in Time” which negates any good vibes Estefan might have otherwise provided. The ice rinks are comically small. Still, it’s possibly the most important halftime show in the history of the medium, if only because it forced the NFL to up the ante the next year.
Super Bowl XXVII - January 31, 1993 (Buffalo Bills vs. Dallas Cowboys)
Michael Jackson
Performed at the Rose Bowl, Pasadena CA
The only thing I have to figure out on this one is how to address the big ol’ elephant in the room: the second half of the performance is dedicated to the kids of the world, so that they might have peace in our time. Michael Jackson is surrounded by hundreds of them and, in case that weren’t enough, a good old-fashioned audience card stunt gives us drawings of about half a dozen more. To be fair, this was just before the first accusations began to appear, so there was nothing really unusual about any of this to the general public in January of 1993. However, it’s hard to ignore what we know since.
Other than that, perhaps the most famous Super Bowl halftime show of all time lives up to its reputation three decades later. The coolest thing in the entire twelve minutes actually happens before a note is sung. Following an intro done by none other than James Earl Jones and a nice stunt featuring a pair of MJ doubles, the real deal emerges from the center of the stage. Following that is….absolutely nothing. He just stands there, frozen. For about two minutes. The crowd is going nuts. Finally, he moves his head from the left to the right. Ecstatic cheering. He finally starts in with “Jam” and puts on a hell of a show. But even if he had stunk up the joint, there’s probably never been a more succinct display of absolute star power than that. It may never happen again in the history of the Super Bowl halftime show, unless they bring back Brian Boitano.
Super Bowl XXVIII - January 30, 1994 (Dallas Cowboys vs. Buffalo Bills)
Rockin’ Country Sunday (Clint Black, Tanya Tucker, Travis Tritt, The Judds)
Performed at the Georgia Dome, Atlanta GA
An enjoyable show and, given the location and eventual game winner, a well-timed one. I admit that country is not my wheelhouse and, thus, can’t weigh in too much on this. I knew most of the names, but didn’t really know any of the songs. I recognize the gravity of the Judds reuniting, but it didn’t mean much to me personally. I do think it’s an interesting move immediately following the 1993 Michael Jackson show. A different (but no less popular) genre while utilizing multiple artists feels like a savvy way of continuing to diversify the audience that might stick around for these particular fifteen minutes. Hopefully they continue this path and don’t do anything too silly next!
Super Bowl XXIX - January 29, 1995 (San Diego Chargers vs. San Francisco 49ers)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye (Patti LaBelle, Indiana Jones & Marion Ravenwood, Teddy Pendergrass, Tony Bennett, Arturo Sandoval, Miami Sound Machine)
Performed at Joe Robbie Stadium, Miami Gardens FL
A Super Bowl so insane and corny that it actually becomes something resembling art, this probably represents the most blatantly promotional halftime show of the Disney era. Meant to advertise the then-newly opened Indiana Jones dark ride at Disneyland*, this show feels more like a theme park stunt show than anything else, which is almost assuredly intentional. It has all the hallmarks: “cool stunts” (aka, a lot of rolls and fake punches), piped in dialogue bits (Marion, one of the best Indiana Jones characters of them all, gets especially short shrift here; most of her spoken words are some variation of “Indy, help!” It’s all a little chintzy, especially given the MJ-induced juice this spot had been infused with just two years prior.
*It sure is keen that this ride, which I still think of as relatively new, is almost thirty years old. Time sure is neat!
Then again, what theme park stunt show opens with Patti LaBelle singing her head off (even if she does appear to, in the context of the show, maybe be the leader of an African tribe? I shall probe no further into that), or feature the sudden appearance of Tony Bennett singing “Caravan” with the Miami Sound Machine? What theme park would have the right to make the prized jewel Indy is trying to lock away in a museum be the Vince Lombardi trophy itself? So, in a way, the Indiana Jones halftime show kind of kicks ass? It’s certainly singular and for that, you kind of have to hand it to them.
Super Bowl XXX - January 28, 1996 (Dallas Cowboys vs. Pittsburgh Steelers)
Take Me Higher: A Celebration of 30 Years of the Super Bowl (Diana Ross)
Performed at Sun Devil Stadium, Tempe AZ
A shining example of one of the best types of halftime shows: handing over thirteen minutes to a singular star in order to perform five of the biggest songs in the world and let them do their thing. To that end, Diana Ross brings her fastball here; her setlist is as follows:
Stop in The Name of Love
You Keep Me Hangin’ On
Baby Love
You Can’t Hurry Love
Why Do Fools Fall in Love
Chain Reaction
Reach Out and Touch (Somebody’s Hand)
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough
I Will Survive
Take Me Higher
In between her “Oops, All Bangers!” concert, she manages to fit in several costume changes and caps it all off with an exit from the stadium via helicopter (this all preceded by an entrance into the stadium via crane). The word “legend” is thrown around a lot, but….
Super Bowl XXXI - January 26, 1997 (New England Patriots vs. Green Bay Packers)
Blues Brothers Bash (The Blues Brothers - Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman, Jim Belushi; ZZ Top, James Brown, Catherine Crier)
Performed at the Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans LA
Possibly the most unique of all the “tribute to New Orleans!” halftime shows, 1997’s was most notable at the time for the recorded intro from Fox News anchor Catherine Crier, which was seen by some as an erosion of the cable channel’s journalistic integrity, a phrase I need not add any commentary to.
To me, this one stands out for feeling very hollow. I should state that I’m on the record as not really getting the Blues Brothers. I love the 1980 film, but I don’t truly understand them as an actual band playing actual music on an actual stage. Nor do I get Aykroyd’s continued insistence on keeping it going after John Belushi’s death. Different strokes for different strokes, I suppose, but they were always a little lost on me.
Suffice to say, this halftime show is nuts, but in a chintzy way, like watching a halfway decent tribute band at Universal CityWalk or something. It’s definitely unique and you’re vaguely happy it happened, but you can’t help but feel like you would have been better off if it hadn’t.
Super Bowl XXXII - January 25, 1998 (Green Bay Packers vs. Denver Broncos)
Salute to Motown 40’s Anniversary (Boyz II Men, Smokey Robinson, Martha Reeves, The Temptations, Queen Latifah, Grambling State University Marching Ban)
Performed at Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego CA
This one was a slightly odd watch; it’s simultaneously a nostalgia act for the glory days of sixties’ Motown (and their selections of Robinson, Reeves and The Temptations could not have been more perfect) AND a retroactive nostalgia act for the then-relatively new Boyz II Men and Queen Latifah. One wonders how people must have felt then about having this new type of R&B being put on the same level as these legends. Watching it now, though, it’s all kind of one big swoosh. The 1960’s and 1990’s now feel roughly equivalent in terms of distance from the present and, for a generation born in the 2000’s, both might as well be in the biblical times.
Bonus points for being the first halftime show I ever watched as it aired live! It’s good! It also gave me existential dread. What else do you need from the Super Bowl?
Super Bowl XXXII - January 25, 1998 (Green Bay Packers vs. Denver Broncos)
Salute to Motown 40’s Anniversary (Boyz II Men, Smokey Robinson, Martha Reeves, The Temptations, Queen Latifah, Grambling State University Marching Ban)
Performed at Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego CA
This one was a slightly odd watch; it’s simultaneously an intentional nostalgia act for the glory days of sixties’ Motown (and their selections of Robinson, Reeves and The Temptations could not have been more perfect) AND an unintentional retroactive nostalgia act for the then-relatively new Boyz II Men and Queen Latifah. One wonders how people must have felt then about having this new type of R&B being put on the same level as these legends. Watching it now, though, it’s all kind of one big swoosh. The 1960’s and 1990’s now feel roughly equivalent in terms of distance from the present and, for a generation born in the 2000’s, both might as well be in the biblical times.
Bonus points for being the first halftime show I ever watched as it aired live! It’s good! It also gave me existential dread. What else do you need from the Super Bowl?
Super Bowl XXXIII - January 31, 1999 (Denver Broncos vs. Atlanta Falcons)
Celebration of Soul, Salsa and Swing (Gloria Estefan, Stevie Wonder, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Savion Glover)
Performed at Pro Player Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL
Perfectly serviceable and entertaining, perhaps the ideal baseline for what these should be. Again, one of the secrets of a good halftime show is having one to three long-running artists with a few songs everyone likes and just having them perform them. Anything more and you’re doing great. Anything less, and you probably need to do some rethinking. It’s a formula that will save the show’s ass later on in the 2000’s, and it certainly carries the night here.
Overall, 1999 feels like a redemptive show for Gloria Estefan, who was last seen in this space trying to carry the 1992 Winter Wonderland debacle. Here, she just gets to jam with Stevie Wonder. She sounds great, he sounds great. Also, the fun of these things are that they double as time capsules. Remember when Savion Glover was just everywhere? What was the deal with Big Bad Voodoo Daddy?
Super Bowl XXXIV - January 30, 2000 (St. Louis Rams vs. Tennessee Titans)
Tapestry of Nations (Phil Collins, Christina Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias, Toni Braxton, Georgia State University choir, narrated by Edward James Olmos)
Performed at Georgia Dome, Atlanta GA
You would think, from a review of the line-up, that this would indicate a move from 90’s hits to 00’s hits. Here comes “Genie in a Bottle” “Bailamos” and “Un-Break my Heart”! And, hey, it’s Phil Collins, can’t wait to hear “Can’t Stop Loving You”!
BZZZZT. No, this is Disney’s big tribute to the coming millennium, which means for some reason that we get a bunch of sappy songs you either don’t remember or never heard. Christina and Enrique duet on “Celebrate Hand in Hand”, which as we all know was the official theme song of Walt Disney World’s Millennium Celebration. Toni Braxton comes out to sing “We Go On”, a song written to close out IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth, an Epcot laser show. Collins only manages to sing “Two Worlds”, your least favorite song from TARZAN.
It’s all nuts in the way only Disney’s early-century attempts at synergy can be. But it’s undeniably a letdown. There’s not one song or stunt or puppet I remember. It’s just kind of a grey, fake-nice blob. Which is to say, it’s the perfect opening ceremony for the 21st century.
Super Bowl XXXV - January 28, 2001 (Baltimore Ravens vs. New York Giants)
The Kings of Rock and Pop (Aerosmith, NSYNC, Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige, Nelly)
Performed at Raymond James Stadium, Tampa FL
MTV. Aerosmith. NSYNC. A prerecorded intro sketch featuring Ben Stiller as the character Timothy Swackhammer, Halftime Coordinator. The 2000’s have begun in earnest.
This show begins a tradition (still upheld to this day) of the halftime show trying to make two distinct flavors taste good together, usually in vain. Mixing Aerosmith with NSYNC isn’t quite as awkward as you might imagine, although it helps that both parties seem happy to be here. Aerosmith was riding high on their 21st century resurgence, while NSYNC just seemed enraptured at even being on the same stage with the legendary rock band. They each sing a couple of their songs, then NSYNC plays backup harmony with Steven Tyler. A couple of guest stars stop by, bada bing, bada boom. All in all, of Justin Timberlake’s three Super Bowl halftime appearances, this is easily the least disastrous.
PS: Britney fans will be disappointed with this one; she basically just shows up as backup to “Walk This Way”. One has to wonder if, had the 2004 show debacle hadn’t occurred and her mental health hadn’t taken a dive by 2007, there was a window where a Britney Spears solo halftime show might have been a reality. Alas.
Super Bowl XXXVI - February 3, 2002 (St. Louis Rams vs. New England Patriots)
9/11 Tribute (U2)
Performed at Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans LA
Yeah, like I’m enough of a dumbass to sharpen my knives against one of the most iconics halftime shows of all time. My main quibble aside (that being that the list of 9/11 victims scrolling on the screen throughout the set aren’t especially readable for the television audience nor, presumably, those in attendance in New Orleans), it’s an undeniably effective performance. I’m not exactly a U2 fan, nor am I a committed skeptic: I exist somewhere in the middle of the Bono Love/Hate spectrum. They unsurprisingly keep it to the hits (and, shockingly, only three!), which is precisely how I like them. It’s good! Even if it weren’t, I wouldn’t dare admit it! It’s the 9/11 Tribute Show, for god’s sake!
Should mention: Janet Jackson was the original pick for this particular year’s headliner, but got bumped after 9/11 in order to find a different act more suitable for the moment. Keep this in mind.
Super Bowl XXXVII - January 26, 2003 (Oakland Raiders vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
Shania Twain, No Doubt (feat. Sting)
Performed at Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego CA
This one was very odd and unsatisfying. You might wonder how Shania Twain and No Doubt might blend together. Well, we’ll never know, because the 2003 halftime show doesn’t even try. Shania goes on first, and I must say she was a real letdown. An obvious lip-synced performance of “Up!” and “Man! I Feel like a Woman!” and she’s outta there! Thanks for playing, Shania!
Then comes mid-2000’s No Doubt (aka the worst No Doubt) and they play just one song and it’s exactly the one you think they might do. Then out comes Sting for some reason, and they start jamming on “Message in a Bottle” and by “they” I mean Sting, No Doubt and not Shania Twain, who I am left to presume was already tucked away in a Qualcomm suite by that point.
What can I say? It sucked, an attempt at smashing two unrelated acts together and hoping people were interested. This was the year I opted for NBC’s counter-programming, a prime-time edition of Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey doing Weekend Update. That broadcast is now unfortunately lost media, but I wish this halftime show would get lost as well.
Super Bowl XXXVIII - February 1, 2004 (Carolina Panthers vs. New England Patriots)
Choose or Lose (Janet Jackson, P. Diddy, Nelly, Kid Rock, Justin Timberlake, Jessica Simpson, Spirit of Houston and Ocean of Soul marching bands)
Performed at Reliant Stadium, Houston TX
Perhaps the most infamous halftime show of them all. I will avoid adding too much to twenty years of conversation about the “wardrobe malfunction”, although it’s obviously one of the most hand-wringingly overwrought controversies of our lifetime, and the hypocrisy of Janet catching all the shit for it and Justin being able to just keep doing this “I’m a little stinker” act for nearly another two decades is infuriating to this day.
I will point out a couple of things I find funny:
1. The “wardrobe malfunction” is the best thing to ever happen to the 2004 show because it otherwise kind of sucks? It’s another, “this star does one song, then this unrelated artist does another song, then another unrelated singer does their thing, then two of them come together” that reeks of halving an ass.
2. The reason the show features the Mid-00’s Top-40 All-Stars is that the theme for this year was technically “Choose or Lose”, MTV’s pro-democracy campaign that was technically a different venture from the privately funded Citizen Change and their famous slogan “Vote or Die!”. Yes, the goal was to drive out the vote. Instead, everyone saw a covered breast for a quarter of a second and John Kerry ended up losing to George W. Bush by 3 million votes. Coincidence? Yes.
Super Bowl XXXIX - February 6, 2005 (New England Patriots vs. Philadelphia Eagles)
Paul McCartney
Performed at Alltel Stadium, Jacksonville FL
Thus begins an era that many find refreshing and nostalgic, while some found somewhat staid and overly reactionary to the moral panic the year before. It’s the Legends of Rock run! I will say in advance that, for the most part, I actually really like the next six halftime shows, where a legacy act or artist gets twelve minutes of just them and their worldwide audience to sing their hits. No guests, minimal histrionics…just the music, maaaaan. I’m not in love with what they necessarily represent; they feel too much like a “please don’t me mad at us anymore” kowtowing to a generation that somewhat refused to believe any music after their time could have any value. BUT, the next half-decade worth of shows are pretty high level, so fuck, maybe the “this is the only real music” crowd has a point.
Anyway, McCartney’s show is probably my least favorite of the six, although it’s still strong. When it comes down to it, his set of four curated Greatest Hits are the lesser of the next five acts to follow, at least for me (my hottest Beatles take: I’m not a “Hey Jude” guy). It’s still a great and confident set, and the complete opposite of the 00’s ones that preceded it. Simplicity is the name of the game. McCartney comes out, says “Hello, Super Bowl!”, sings the songs you most associate with him, then gets out. No gimmicks, no tricks, no exposed breast (unfortunately).
Super Bowl XL - February 5, 2006 (Seattle Seahawks vs. Pittsburgh Steelers)
The Rolling Stones
Performed at Ford Field, Detroit MI
Mick Jagger is impossible to parody. You cannot possibly exaggerate how much he never really stops moving, nor can you ever successfully overinflate the amount of his perpetual motion in relation to his age, a dichotomy that was already funny in 2006, and only gets more insane with time.
Anyway, look, it’s great! They’re rocking their asses off on a tongue-shaped stage. The energy never ceases, and the 13 or so minutes they’re allotted whizzes by in an instant. You know exactly what you’re getting from a Rolling Stones halftime show (you’ll never believe this, but they play “Start Me Up” and “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”), and I suspect that was most of the appeal, both for the football-watching audience at large and the NFL themselves.
Super Bowl XLI - February 4, 2007 (Indianapolis Colts vs. Chicago Bears)
Prince (w/Florida A&M University Marching 100 Band)
Performed at Dolphin Stadium, Miami Gardens FL
On the generally accepted short-list of greatest halftime shows in Super Bowl history, the mystique behind it was undeniably boosted by the turn in the weather. How much more do you want than it actually raining during “Purple Rain”? Who doesn’t like the vague danger of somebody (or several somebodies) getting electrocuted during a football game?
There are other things to love about it, the first being Prince’s singular presence. Love him or hate him, there was never anybody like him. Also, I love the “Purple Rain” segment as much as everybody else, but I had forgotten the detail that his set is almost entirely covers. The whole middle of this is him doing “Best of You” by the Foo Fighters. For some reason, I respect this as a power move. I could do three more of my mega-famous songs, but I’d rather put a spin on other people’s. I had also forgotten that, three years after America freaked out forever on Janet Jackson, Prince turning his guitar into an Austin Powers-esque phallic symbol caused another mini-panic*.
*About 150 complaints were filed with the FCC about this year’s broadcast, with most people bitching about either this or that “do something manly!” Snickers commercial where two guys accidentally kissed. Good times.
Looking back, this felt like a good balance for the Super Bowl halftime show. A legacy artist showing the kids how it’s done, while throwing in just enough subversion to rankle mom and dad. Just a little.
Super Bowl XLII - February 3, 2008 (New York Giants vs. New England Patriots)
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Performed at University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale AZ
This one took me the most by surprise. Obviously, Tom Petty was a legend, and there’s absolutely nobody in this country consciously walking around that doesn’t know at least two of his songs. But for whatever reason, I had never really engaged with him much as an artist. I had never seen him live, either in person or on video. In some ways, this was my first real exposure to his vibe.
At least in this context of this halftime show, I was wildly charmed by him. He seemed humbled by the moment in a way almost no other artist to perform in this slot ever is, like he seemed genuinely surprised and touched to be there. He had an easy-going vibe to him, with a nice continually contrasting set to match. He rocks out with “American Girl”, then we all get to ride the mellow waves of “Free Fallin’”. So on and so forth.
I wish I had had the chance to become a fan while he was still alive, as I suspect I would have had a great time seeing him in an actual venue. For now, though? Him sneakily being one of my favorite halftime shows will have to do.
Super Bowl XLIII - February 1, 2009 (Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Arizona Cardinals)
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Performed at Raymond James Stadium, Tampa FL
Great show, and I’ll always respect a good wall of sound on Super Bowl Sunday. It did strike me, however, that the no-longer-than-fifteen-minutes format of the halftime show rips the Boss of one of the signature things about his shows: the long, rambling, verbal setups to his songs. Alas, he’s left to just blow the roof off of Raymond James Stadium (to those who argue that it doesn’t have a roof, I’d ask you to consider why that might now be) by ripping through three of his greatest hits, as well as his then-new one, “Working on a Dream”. Major points that this halftime show happened before Clarence Clemons passed away, which means we get some sexy sax action.
Also, for those who forgot, this is the one where Bruce power-slides his crotch into the camera. BRUUUUUUUUCE!
Super Bowl XLIV - February 7, 2010 (New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts)
The Who
Performed at Sun Life Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL
The last of this six-year era is probably my favorite, and yes it’s absolutely as simple as I like The Who the most of the six. All five songs they performed on this night are five of the best rock songs ever. They still were able to rock. They sounded great. Nothing else to it, really. Even in 2010, The Who were uniquely suited for the moment in a way few were. They actually had the nerve to open with “Pinball Wizard” and resist the urge to do nothing cutesy to it, like call it “Football Wizard” or something.
Look, sometimes a deep analysis isn’t warranted! This one rocked! The end!
Super Bowl XLV - February 6, 2011 (Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Green Bay Packers)
The Black Eyed Peas (ft. Usher, Slash, local Dallas high school drill teams and dancers, Prairie View A&M University Marching Storm)
Performed at Cowboys Stadium, Arlington TX
Look, sometimes a deep analysis isn’t warranted! This one sucked! The end!
Okay, okay, I’ll try just a little more. The 2011 halftime show is usually ranked amongst the worst, and I can’t really levy a contrarian opinion. It’s quite poor, and it seems quite poor for a variety of reasons. First, the sound levels are atrocious and would have sunk even the greatest artist. Second, the Black Eyed Peas weren’t that good in the first place, and their sound has aged horrendously over the last twenty years (oh boy, more tinny bass drops!). Third, even if it hadn’t, they were never the right band for this particular moment. The Black Eyed Peas are meant to be enjoyed in the club, perhaps played over the intercom of a basketball game. A live act, they are not; they’re mostly just kinda standing there the whole time. Fourth, although Slash looks like he’s trying to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible, fellow special guest Usher is giving it his all. It’s shocking how much the show picks up the second he arrives, making the headlining act look all the more amateurish.
This was the Super Bowl’s toe-dip back into music of the youth, and it probably couldn’t have gone worse. It’s very fortunate they didn’t just give up on the concept entirely and start Googling if Glenn Miller was still alive.
Super Bowl XLVI - February 5, 2012 (New York Giants vs. New England Patriots)
Madonna (ft. LMFAO, Cirque du Soleil, MIA, Nicki Minaj, Cee Lo Green, a shit ton of local high school drumlines)
Performed at Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis IN
Okay, so Madonna wasn’t exactly new in 2012. But she was still coarse enough in style to ruffle some feathers with the modern day football audience, which always makes these shows even 5% more interesting.
Look, even if you’re not a fan of her catalog (I’m somewhat ambivalent myself), Madonna can obviously still put on a show! Less great are her odd assortment of guest stars. Nicki is still in her prime here, and Cee Lo seems happy to be there, but I didn’t need reminding that nepo-baby-dipshit-rap-act LMFAO was ever a thing. MIA doesn’t make much of an impression musically, although her flipping off the camera made headlines the next day, which counts for something.
This one feels like the opening act of a new era for the halftime show, where singular artists are given the space to do their unique thing, whether or not the main television audience was going to be super into it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but it at least adds a little variety as we enter the last ten or eleven halftime shows.
Super Bowl XLVII - February 3, 2013 (Baltimore Ravens vs. San Francisco 49ers)
Beyonce (ft. Destiny’s Child)
Performed at Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans LA
Out of respect (and fear) of the Bey-hive, I’ll keep my comments positive, not that I have much to complain about anyway. Beyonce is probably worth a deep dive one of these days, as so much of the last twenty-five years of pop culture seems to run through her in one way or another. It also speaks to her incredible longevity that she seemed like the perfect choice for a halftime show in 2013, yet now feels a little too early in 2024. This was pre-LEMONADE and RENAISSANCE, yet she still has more than enough hits to carry the fifteen-minute slot. She manages to fit in a few measures of nine songs, including two Destiny’s Child numbers and a DC-ified version of “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)”, which seems like it has to be a record amount up to this point.
Beyonce’s specific stage presence is sort of amazing to behold. Her vocal prowess is well-documented, but it’s fascinating to watch her make a lot out of her dancing ability. I wouldn’t call her graceful in motion, exactly, but there’s a quickness and sharpness to it that makes it feel more than what it is. That sounds like a slam, but it isn’t. What I’m describing is star power. She’s got it in spades. I only wish I hadn’t initially watched it in the context of a room full of anxiety-ridden 49er fans.
(Also, I give it points for committing to the “Destiny’s Child reunion” gimmick. Once Kelly Rowlands and Michelle Williams arrive on stage, they never leave it again, as I recall.)
Super Bowl XLVIII - February 2, 2014 (Seattle Seahawks vs. Denver Broncos)
Bruno Mars (ft. Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Performed at MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford NJ
I can’t get a gauge on how “cool” he is, necessarily, but I am an open buyer for what Bruno Mars sells. He genuinely seems like he can do it all: sing in an almost-long-forgotten style, play any and all instruments, dance like his life depended on it…it’s good stuff. I suspect it comes off as corny or try-hand to others, but I’d rather someone be a cheeseball while bringing back that 70’s R&B feel than “be cool” doing whatever the fuck we were doing in 2014 (probably listening to Major Lazer or something).
It’s a fucking blast from beginning to end, and in retrospect, Bruno Mars probably snagged his halftime spot at the exact right time. He only released one other album after this, the equally successful 24K MAGIC, before dropping off somewhat in the public consciousness (although one can easily imagine Silk Sonic showing up as a guest on one of these someday). 2014 felt like the year he was everywhere, and it was a rare moment of the Super Bowl striking while the iron was ripping hot.
Super Bowl XLIX - February 1, 2015 (New England Patriots vs. Seattle Seahawks)
Katy Perry (ft. Lenny Kravitz, Missy Elliott, Arizona State University Sun Devil Marching Band)
Performed at University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale AZ
A solid show all-in-all. Katy Perry has the exact right repertoire for the event; I didn’t confirm it, but it sure feels like every single song in her set that night was a number one hit that saturated the market in its time. It’s got spectacle; special points for her entrance onto a giant puppet lion, as well as her eventual flying around on what could reasonably be described as the NBC “The More You Know” star. Heck, even the (as usual) completely unrelated special guests feel worked in as part of the show this time around.
I’ve talked my shit about Katy in the past and, living through her early-2010’s reign, she could easily get on one’s nerves; again, it’s impossible to exaggerate how completely inescapable her TEENAGE DREAM reign was. But, with a healthy dose of hindsight, I feel I have no choice but to respect her. She took time to figure out her persona and aesthetic, then made her fortune going all in on it. Even as I groaned through “Roar” and “Dark Horse”, I had to admit her legendary status. This was another halftime show that was extremely well-timed; a couple years later, Katy would almost certainly be hocking her awful “Swish Swish” song. She was at the height of her powers in the winter of 2015. Bravo.
(Also, to all of you who mercilessly mocked Left Shark: shame on all of you. He was just vibing, the way any of us would have given the opportunity. Leave him alone!)
Super Bowl 50 - February 7, 2016 (Carolina Panthers vs. Denver Broncos)
Coldplay (ft. Beyonce, Bruno Mars, Mark Ronson, Gustavo Dudamel, University of California Marching Band, Youth Orchestra L.A.)
Performed at Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara CA
This is one of my very favorites in halftime history. The vibes are very high and very positive, possibly because it’s still daytime, or maybe it’s the seemingly Haight-Ashbury inspired color palette throughout. Regardless, I had a smile on my face the entire time. That said, things don’t really pick up until Beyonce and Bruno Mars show up and start dueting on “Uptown Funk”. In a sense, the whole show starts to feel like a Halftime Multiverse of Madness. I’m not sure there’s been three former/current halftime show headliners on stage during a halftime show before, but it adds to the star power of the proceedings.
In the context of this particular project, I also got chills during the finale, where tribute is paid to the first fifty years of halftime shows. I felt a little delirious seeing clips from the past shows, some of them now feeling like I had watched fifty years ago at this point. It gave me the push I needed to get through the final seven halftime spectaculars.
Final note: Coldplay is one of those bands I was adamant in my hatred for during my high school days. Then, occasionally, I would hear a song of theirs and think, “okay, well, I like that one”. Fifteen occurrences of that later and I think I’m just a casual Coldplay fan, the treacly “Fix You” notwithstanding. Getting older is mostly becoming comfortable with who you are.
Super Bowl LI - February 5, 2017 (New England Patriots vs. Atlanta Falcons)
Lady Gaga
Performed at NRG Stadium, Houston TX
Another personal favorite. A lot of my Lady Gaga admiration has eroded over the years, as she’s expanded her portfolio into jazz standards and Oscar grabs. No disrespect to either of those pursuits; the provocative Gaga stuff couldn’t last forever, and to some degree, it’s hard to top hanging yourself on the VMA’s. But I liked the weird, theater-person-in-need-of-psych-meds energy she had in the late 2000’s/early 2010’s.
And this halftime performance is basically 100% that. She’s dancing around with her hands in little claw shapes. She’s bouncing around the stage on strings. She’s being a little weirdo the whole time. I suspect this is anathema to a good time to many, but it’s hard to deny her singularity. And, at the end of the day, isn’t that what the halftime show is all about? There aren’t even any guests this time; who needs ‘em?
Super Bowl LII - February 4, 2018 (Philadelphia Eagles vs. New England Patriots)
Justin Timberlake (ft. the Tennessee Kids, University of Minnesota Marching Band)
Performed at U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, MN
I dunno, I thought this one was kinda pee. I have no real hate towards JT, I generally like his music (especially the 20/20 EXPERIENCE sort-of double album, although I suspect I’m somewhat alone on that one). But his “I’m just a little goofy guy from your youth” act was starting to wear thin in 2018, and is almost unrecognizable in 2024.
The issue isn’t the setlist, which again I think is pretty okay and a good fit for the halftime show. It’s how…bland and timid it feels. It’s also impossible to ignore the unfortunate symbolic meaning of him even being back at the halftime show at all. The fact that he was extended an invite after 2004 and Janet Jackson appears to be essentially banned for life reveals too much about what actually offends us. Timberlake perhaps isn’t obligated to refuse the opportunity on moral grounds, nor is he perhaps fully in control of who he can select as a special guest. However, the fact remains that the absence of any sort of acknowledgment of him avoiding any sort of consequence has the distinct smell of cowardice.
Thankfully, he WAS able to bring in Jimmy Fallon for a pre-recorded intro. Isn’t that epic? Who’s to say whether the show is good or bad then? Look, the TROLLS song! That’s fun, isn’t it? The whole thing just feels impossibly dated despite barely being five years old. Also, even though it ends up being the most memorable part of the night, fuck him for the little Prince “duet”.
Super Bowl LIII - February 3, 2019 (New England Patriots vs. Los Angeles Rams)
Maroon 5 (ft. Travis Scott, Big Boi, Georgia state University Marching Band)
Performed at Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta GA
I thought this one was also urine-esque, for much the same reason as the year before. I don’t hold much against Maroon 5. I like many of their songs, not that they happened to perform any of them that night. But, Adam Levine is so fucking corny and swagless; only he could perform a song called “Moves Like Jagger” and not attempt to even move a little bit like Jagger. It’s probably for the best, but still, read the fucking room, Adam. It’s also hard to lose from your mind his unfathomably dorky sexts* while he’s ripping off his shirt to show off his bare chest with his very cool tats. Go ahead, Adam! Howl like an animal! I’ll never get “I may need to see the booty” out of my mind.
*I do struggle with this all becoming public information. On the one hand, it’s really none of our business. On the other hand, it’s very very funny, so it’s impossible to say whether it’s bad or not. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
Throw in a surprise appearance by Travis Scott, and it’s just kind of an ugh night. Big Boi was cool, though, and his two songs were easily the highlight of the show. I desperately wish he and Andre 3000 would get back together. Imagine Outkast doing a halftime show?
Super Bowl LIV - February 2, 2020 (San Francisco 49ers vs. Kansas City Chiefs)
Shakira and Jennifer Lopez (ft. Bad Bunny, J Balvin, Emme Muniz)
Performed at Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens FL
I remember people going ape-shit for this one at the time, almost as if we all knew deep down we were mere weeks away from something resembling a social apocalypse. In that sense, it’s a fascinating watch. Future historians, please note: there really was a quarter of the year 2020 where life was pretty much normal!
It’s a fun one and probably the most thematically coherent of the “take a couple artists and have them split the show” bunch. Shakira looked the same in 2020 and she did in 2001, and she sticks to her four or five major crossover hits. Then out comes J-Lo, whose particular star power strikes me in a way nobody else’s does. It’s genuinely difficult to process her as a human being. Like, I can’t imagine her just walking around in a house somewhere or, like, eating food. Does that make sense? Beyonce and Lady Gaga bowl me over by sheer force of will. With Jennifer Lopez, I don’t even consider her the same species as myself. No, I have no clue what’s driving that, but there it is.
What really struck me here is that this was the first time the halftime show would dip its toe into millennial nostalgia. It absolutely will not be the last going forward. It’s not even the last on this list. But that’s what this is. Some of these songs were pushing twenty years old at the time, even if it didn’t feel like it. Even four years ago, our generation was generally still young enough that these were just songs that we knew, not artifacts from days gone by. Don’t worry, every person older than me has informed me that it gets worse!
Super Bowl LV - February 7, 2021 (Kansas City Chiefs vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
The Weeknd
Performed at Raymond James Stadium, Tampa FL
A halftime show that is likely to age weird, given the fact that it managed to broadcast in that post-lockdown orders, pre-vaccine creation period. My wife astutely pointed out how many of the dancers’ costumes were designed to cover up the fact that they were masked. There’s also a strange, empty atmosphere to the entire proceedings. A scan of the crowd reveals social distancing, which my brain still processes as “oh, man, they couldn’t sell out this game” because I’m dumb.
It doesn’t really matter, as The Weeknd puts in a hell of a show, albeit one that generated a meme with legs. He’s an odd talent: he’s definitely not of the “pick up an instrument and start jamming” variety, and he’s definitely electronica-adjacent, but he’s not hiding behind the bleep-boops to mask that he’s charisma-deficient (like, say, the Black Eyed Peas). He definitely has a presence to him, and more than a little flair for the dramatic. Another defacto theater-kid-made-good story.
Super Bowl LVI - February 13, 2022 (Los Angeles Rams vs. Cincinnati Bengals)
Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, Kendrick Lamar (ft. 50 Cent, Anderson .Paak)
Performed at SoFi Stadium, Inglewood CA
This show is notable to me for two reasons:
I believe this is the first halftime show to revolve primarily around celebrating a producer. I don’t think Dre discovered every single one of these people, but consider the prominent featuring not only of Eminem and 50 Cent, but the intro and outro showing Dre looking out over the city, as well as Dre pretending to adjust the levels on a giant soundboard throughout the show. The implication is clear: the last twenty to thirty years of hip-hop came from Dr. Dre’s influence.
This halftime show was responsible for a year-long existential crisis for me. In terms of millennial nostalgia-baiting, the 2022 halftime show runs where the 2020 one walked. The whole broadcast was like this, to be honest: commercials featured such of-their-time celebrities as Zach Braff, Lindsay Lohan and the cast of THE SOPRANOS. I guess nobody ever gets to decide when they’re the new generation to have their youths milked by corporations, but I can tell you I wasn’t ready for it on February 13, 2022.
This show was very popular; a lot of “now this is how it’s done!” reactions to the halftime show flew through the Twitter-sphere. And, look, it’s a great show. Dre and Snoop still got it. I really loved the set, a series of connected rooms that everyone is walking in and out of. Em is singing about losing yourself, while 50’s hanging from the ceiling like it’s 2003 again. But you’re never prepared for when you become the old guy lamenting why things can’t just be how they were, and how the kids would never understand what real art is.
All this to say, the show is great. But it also signaled the sudden end of one chapter of my life, and the forceful beginning of another. We’re now our parents’ age. Thanks for the reminder, Dre!
Super Bowl LVII - February 12, 2023 (Kansas City Chiefs vs. Philadelphia Eagles)
Rihanna
Performed at State Farm Stadium, Glendale AZ
This one is another in the “give one artist fifteen minutes to remind everyone why they’re at the top of the industry”, which feels like the most successful formula on the whole. Rihanna is especially impressive here considering she had been inactive for six years or so prior to this. She also easily clears the record for most songs performed by one artist at the halftime show. She does a total of fifteen full or partial songs before her slot is through. And, honestly? It’s great, if only because she has one of the greatest stank-faces in modern music. Overall, it was a great reminder that Rihanna’s been gone for a while, but she’ll never truly go away. Even if she never releases another album, her legacy is secure.
This was also the show that assuredly caused a lot of guys around the world to go, “....she’s pregnant, right? No, I’m wrong, why would she be performing while pregnant? But she’s not dancing a whole lot….god, I’m just being an asshole. I’m not going to turn and ask my wife. But, like, she is, right?” (It turns out she was, thank god.)
Super Bowl LVIII - February 11, 2024 (San Francisco 49ers vs. Kansas City Chiefs)
Usher (ft. Alicia Keys, Jermaine Dupri, H.E.R. will.i.am, Lil Jon, Ludacris)
Performed at Allegiant Stadium, Paradise NV
I’ll be honest, this one took a bit to get going. For all the retro Vegas-y action going on, the first few minutes are a little slow, as Usher just kind of makes his way from his throne to the stage. Things pick up when Alicia Keys gets introduced, and it never loses steam again. By the time the show went full Starlight Express, I felt delirious.
Usher is another one of those artists whose ubiquitousness is often slept on. Someone on Twitter actually had the nerve to ask if anybody knew any other Usher songs besides “Yeah!”, but it’s easy to forget he’s been around for over twenty-five years, and has been cranking out hits pretty much the entire time. I think we’re so used to him being around that his music just kinda fades in the background now. But, he’s got a discography to be respected! This show clearly proved that.
Points for going for the obvious fan-favorite choice and bringing back Lil’ Jon and Ludacris for the end. Bonus points for the troll move of including will.i.am, certainly making him the only member of the Black Eyed Peas that will ever get to return to the halftime show. Prayers up for Justin Bieber not getting the invite and having to settle for just being in the crowd.
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I’m exhausted. One more thing, then I’m going back to bed until Usher takes the stage. In no particular order, my personal five favorites and least favorite halftime shows:
FAVORITE
Coldplay ft. Beyonce and Bruno Mars (2016)
The Who (2010)
Prince (2007)
Lady Gaga (2017)
Michael Jackson (1993)
LEAST FAVORITE
Winter Magic (1992)
Up With People Salutes Motown (1982)
Up With People Beat of the Future (1986)
Shania Twain, No Doubt (2003)
The Black Eyed Peas (2011)